I should have told you this earlier: DON’T BUY TINNED PRODUCTS ANYMORE!!

Join me in my revolt against tinned fruit and other foods (especially hams). It’s time to say: ‘No to tins’.

Ten other things that should be banned:

1. Men

2. Any number that begins and ends with 4

3. Fucking people that get in my way when I get on the train. Alright?

(banned number). Other planets

5. Depeche Mode

6. That bloke from the television

7. His Mum

8. All those green things I keep seeing

9. Greg and Fred

10. Pete

I went to a gig the other night. I left early because I needed a soft turd. I went to the cinema later. I left early because the film was about, get this, ‘ALIENS AND PEOPLE’. What the fuck is that about?? Let’s get some perspective people.

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